For several days my website was down as a result of a server problem. As with all these things it was, inevitably, over the weekend when the chat support was not operating. As I was very busy with musical events over the weekend I didn’t have too much time to worry about it, but it did make me realise just how much we come to rely on these things. Computers have become fairly central to the lives of most people. When the internet connection goes down or a website becomes unavailable for any reason, it makes me feel so helpless. On Monday morning I was able to make contact with my server and sort the problem in just a few minutes.
This meant that for about four days my website was out of commission; my apologies to any regular readers who tried – and failed – to get at my blogs. I know quite a few people visit over the weekends when time is less pressing for them. The problem was out of my control. Dealing with the server support reminded me of a story I was sent several years ago. I have found it and copied it below for your amusement.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!)
Operator: Computer assistance, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.
Operator: What sort of trouble?
Caller: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Operator: Went away?
CaIler: They disappeared.
Operator: Hmm! So what does your screen look like now?
Caller: Nothing!
Operator: Nothing?
Caller: lt’s blank. It won’t accept anything when I type.
Operator: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?
Caller: How do I tell?
Operator: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?
Caller: What’s a sea-prompt?
Operator: Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
Caller: There isn’t any cursor. I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.
Operator: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
Caller: What’s a monitor?’’
Operator: It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?
Caller: I don’t know.
Operator: Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power chord goes into it. Can you see that?
Caller: Yes, I think so.
Operator: Great! Follow the chord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller: Yes, it is.
Operator: When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
Caller: No!
Operator: Well, there are! I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
Caller: OK, here it is.
Operator: Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.
Caller: I can’t reach.
Operator: Uh-huh! Well, can you see if it is?
Caller: No!
Operator: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
Caller:` Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle. It’s because it’s dark.
Operator: Dark?
Caller: Yes! The office light is off and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: Well, turn on the office light then.
Caller: I can’t.
Operator: No? Why not?
Caller: Because there’s a power failure.
Operator: A power… a power failure? Aha, OK! We’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?
Caller: Well, yes! I keep them in the closet.
Operator: Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
Caller: Really? Is it that bad?
Operator: Yes, I’m afraid it is.
Caller: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
Operator: Tell them you’re too ****ing stupid to own a computer.
Hopefully, these days, most people’s understanding of computers goes beyond this caller’s grasp of the basics.
To end this article on a more business-like note, I have a report, “Niche Marketing Strategies and Tactics” which goes, step by step, through the process of finding a profitable niche and developing a business around it. This can be downloaded HERE.
Hopefully, my server problems are now permanently solved.
Regards.